I frequently have pregnancy and abortion dreams and it freaks me out so much when I wake up. I did have an abortion 2 years ago and went to therapy for it, I also had my tubes removed so I won’t become pregnant either. But the abortion was very painful physical and I have a deep fear of having children.

When my friends talk about their children or some mentions they’re pregnant I cringe. Some of my boyfriends friends were talking about how their girls were pregnant and they were like “it’s only a matter of time before you guys are.” (They didn’t know I was sterilized).

But those kind of conversations cause me to have these intense dreams. I wish one day they will stop.