Infertile and dreading going through another pregnancy

Guys....I just don’t think I can do this shit again. I know how horrible I must sound and I must really just be a horrible person. But my God...I’m dying inside and I can’t go through another series of baby showers and gender reveals and baby shopping and baby topic of every conversation. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my composure this time. I mean...is there a polite way to tell someone “congratulations! please forget I exist until your child is a toddler and I can handle being around you.” I really don’t want to sob uncontrollably at someone’s baby shower, but this is where I’m at right now. I don’t have any control over my emotions at this point.

At this point it really isn’t about the inability to be happy for other people. I really just can’t keep my composure and fake sanity this go round.