First time mom anxiety

I’m pregnant with our first baby and I am very concerned about people not respecting me and my husband as first time parents and deciding their way is better because they have had children. Mostly with in-laws and parents. I want to feel in control. My parents did this with my sister. Things like not honoring her wishes with certain things. It’s really hard for me to want to accept help because I’m headstrong and I want to be In control not be told what to do and that I’m doing it wrong. I know I should accept help but mentally the idea gives me lots of anxiety. I already have extreme mama bear syndrome it seems. I think my relationship with my in-laws not being fond of me makes me think any criticism is a personal attack on me. And I just need a little tips and advice. I’ve never done this before