I need some advice. Let me start by saying that I love my husband and I believed in his change... until now. Our marriage used to not be the greatest . He’s been violent towards me in the past In very bad fights but it has been years since he has laid a hand on me. We went to counseling and we learned to pray together when things got tough for us. The past five years have been great to say the least. Lately though... In the midst of an argument i see him reverting back to his impulsive ways. This morning he threatened to slap me and raised his arm as if to throw a bottle of water at me. He has since apologized but didn’t understand why I wanted to drive myself to work after that. He refused and the entire way to work he kind of berated me... I reminded him that in the past he would slap me in the car without warning and I just couldn’t deal with feeling like I’m waiting for the hammer to drop. He then replied that he slapped me in the past because I was deserving of it. Wait.... scuse me WTF??!!! So was the years of counseling just for nothing? Here i am thinking this man has changed.... gave him a chance to prove himself changed when i should have ran for the hills and he tells me that I DESERVED to be hit. Now I want to divorce him. I can’t think of anything else. Screw the years spent with him... I feel like he revealed his true nature today. Yes he restrained himself and did not actually hit me but he has no idea the dark places it takes me too. There is nothing worse than feeling defenseless, trapped with no escape. His words would hit just as hard as his fists and the thought of going through any of that again sends me into a frantic place... kill or be killed mentality I guess?? I know there are those out there who will judge for staying in the first place but we separated while going to counseling... lived apart in our own homes for 2 years... learned boundaries... built brick by brick together to create a home we could both live in together... and now I feel like he set the kitchen on fire on purpose. We have 5 years of no violence between us... not even anything I would classify as verbal abuse. So I’m not sure what to do. Should I throw everything we worked hard for over a relapse? Or should I give this a chance and maybe suggest we go back to counseling? I understand there are those who will judge harshly and I guess I could understand why but I can’t sum up my marriage in a single post so please keep that in mind and know i just need some genuine tough truth that is coming from a place of wanting to help and not to hurt me further.