Should I attend the wedding?

I had a very strained childhood. My father was physically abusive, emotionally manipulative, and was constantly trying to intimidate not only me, but used his job (deputy’s sheriff) to intimidate and manipulate others.

I don’t want to make this a lengthy post about my awful childhood, rather about the core issue which is weather of not I should attend my youngest brothers wedding.

My youngest brother has estranged himself from the family and doesn’t ever reach out. I send him Christmas cards and birthday wishes every year and never get a reply. He does talk to my oldest (younger) brother occasionally (that I know of) and he’s mentioned that the youngest just doesn’t feel a connection to me because I am 10 years older than him and I wasn’t around much during his upbringing.

He is getting married soon and they sent me a wedding invitation. I know my father will be there and I am absolutely dreading even laying eyes on him.

It is a destination wedding, and frankly I feel like he doesn’t even bother trying to connect with me at all yet wants me to go to his wedding. I don’t think I owe it to him to attend, however my other brother was pissed at me for attending his destination wedding because I said I couldn’t afford to travel across the country to attend. My dad offered to pay for my ticket(s) and I said no no no because I don’t want to have anything to do with him whatsoever. I have not even spoken to him in nearly three years.

I care for my brothers but if you want to maintain a relationship efforts other than a wedding invite should be made, right? I don’t feel like I should be blamed for not going, particularly because my father will be in attendance and it’s just not good for my mental health to be subjected to his presence.

Am j in being out of line? Is this an unreasonable claim? Should I attend the wedding?