February 8th baby turned into a January 28th love bug. 💕

Went in to start the softening of my cervix on the 27th, then started pitocin at 5 AM on the 28th.

Baby’s heart rate dropped after almost every contraction, he wasn’t tolerating labor. So we had to keep repositioning and stopping the medicine which slowed my labor down tremendously.

We tried and tried to get him to cooperate with the medicine, but he had his own agenda. I had a c-section 24 hours after starting the induction, and this perfect boy was the result.

He’s one week old today and life has been so full of stress in the past 7 days from family drama with my fiancé’s parents. I’m not depressed, but have learned that you’re EXTREMELY emotional after having the baby. My mom took off two weeks to be here to help with anything, but I didn’t even get out of the hospital until the end of her first week off. Now, this week, we had to take him in for light therapy cause of his jaundice, and I stayed in the hospital alone again.

I’m dreading her going back to work and me being alone with baby. I LOVE taking care of him, I’m not nervous about caring for him, cause I’ve been doing that already. I’m just nervous about my emotions and possibly feeling alone once that support and love is absent throughout the day.

If any of you soon-to-be mamas could send thoughts and prayers my way, I would appreciate it more than you know. I’m just struggling a bit with adjusting to life as it is right now. It’s completely different than what I expected, support-wise. I feel blind sided, and almost like I’m a single mother.

I love my fiancé beyond words, but I’m struggling to find comfort in him when he’s not as present as he’d promised or as I’d always believed he’d be.

Regardless of all this, my sweet boy is my main focus and I am so in love with the blessing he is. He’s such a good baby, he doesn’t fuss much at all. He’s sweet, cute, and smells sooooo good. I’m in love with my new family. 💜