Recovering Anorexic

I’m currently recovering from anorexia. I’ve always hated my body. Even now at the lowest weight I’ve been in a long time all I can see is how big my arms are or how big my stomach gets when I eat like a normal person. I have such a fear of gaining. I eat less than 1000 calories a day. On my very bad days I eat 200, if that. I feel so guilty just eating. It makes me feel disgusted in myself and think that I have no self control. I know I’m at a healthy weight for my height but all I can think is, “what if I just lose 10 more lbs.” I also excessively workout sometimes to burn calories if I’m feeling especially guilty. I hate that I’m like this but my eating disorder has devoured my life.