Coming up on 38 weeks - anxiety starting to peak for anyone else waiting on their rainbow baby?

Elizabeth

So I'm lucky enough to have had 3 weeks holiday time saved up that I can use before my due date and maternity leave, meaning I currently have very little to keep my mind off of our little nugget of joy and the impending birth.

I've been organising and deep cleaning everything I can. I've organised what I can and think we have everything we *need* when our little one comes home with us. That has helped me feel prepared and less anxious on that front.

It doesn't help that I'm a naturally anxious person. Before pregnancy I handled it okay by running and staying active, but I couldn't run much past my 3rd month without discomfort and worry that I might hurt the baby. I'm trying to walk as much as I can to help little one engage and keep my mind busy, but I'm scared of doing too much. I'm getting more stiff, some pelvic pressure, and having tummy troubles - I can't figure out if the latter is a sign of labor or a sign I'm too anxious.

This time last year we found out we were 6 weeks pregnant. Obviously that doesn't line up with being 38 weeks now, and in March we discovered that I had had a missed miscarriage when we went for our 10-12 week dating scan.

My mind keeps worrying that if my body didn't know what to do with a miscarriage and we had to have medical intervention for it, that it might not start labor "on time" either. I don't know if that's the case, and I plan on asking the midwife next week when I see her. It got to the point that I broke down crying this morning thinking about the differences in my two pregnancies, and worrying about my current little one. Keeping busy cleaning was the only way I got out of bed.

But if anyone else has had a similar situation, it would be nice to hear. I've only spoken to my boss (who also experienced miscarriage and stillbirth), and I don't know how others have dealt with it when their rainbow baby actually arrives.