Im tired. Im tired of being a mom. Im tired of being a wife. Im tired of being a daughter in law. Most of all I'm tired of being me. All my life I waited for ALL of this. I knew I wanted this. I still want this. But yet, I'm still tired. Im tired of being responsible. Im tired of making decisions. Im tired of pretending to have my shit together when on the inside I'm screaming for help. I need something and I don't know what it is. What is it? Love? No, I'm surrounded by it. Maybe a break? No, the husband makes sure I get one as much as possible. Ah, a glass of wine. No, that only masks the pain temporarily then gives me a headache the next morning. What is it? What could it be? What could I possibly be missing. I have everything I've always wanted. Why am I so unhappy? Is this depression? Is this what it feels like? How do I know for sure? I lie to everyone about being ok so often that now I'm not even sure of it myself . Please, why won't anyone help me? I don't know what to do. Why is it so hard to ask for help? What do I do when I get it? How do I pay for therapy? Do I even really need it? Will my family see and treat me differently? I don't want to seem weak. Am I weak? No, after everything I've been through? Absolutely not. Then why is this so hard? Exhaustion. How do I fix this? Ask.