My fights with my husband are so bad. He has little to no patience, very little tolerance and loses it pretty quickly. He gets frustrated, yells, sometimes screams and rarely says sorry. My tears only make him angrier or push him away- even last night he said your tears don’t bother me at all and I don’t feel bad about you crying. It’s our 1 year anniversary and I tried to say sorry, that I love him no matter what and he still went to bed yelling at me how I ruined the whole day-taking all the sweet things he planned all week for granted/ no more anniversary trips for me/ I should throw away the sweet card/pictures he had printed (my anniversary gift)... which the message inside was so sweet but his actions didn’t match any of what he said so it kind of lost all meaning anyhow.

I try my best not to cry during fights but it’s hard when you’re 5 1/2 months pregnant and I’m overly sensitive.

I have irrational anxiety that he will never understand and when I talk about what makes me anxious, it usually starts fights. Lesson learned- stay away from certain topics or just lie... for my sanity. He asked me a question, and I thought I could be honest. I put myself into a super vulnerable position and it backfired.

I really need some advice on how to deal with fights with spouses.

I am trying all sorts of things- staying silent, giving space, praying, trying not to leave for a hotel (as I live in a different country with no fam/friends here and I’ve left about 6 times now to a hotel to avoid his screaming). How do you all deal with explosive husbands? He DOES NOT hit me. Just want to say that. But also, the things I am suffering make me regret that he’s the father and sometimes I don’t like myself for wishing I wasn’t pregnant because of the fights. It’s making me really sad cause this has not been a happy pregnancy for me and I can’t connect with my unborn for fear of potential divorce or life as a single mom. I also think that I have disaster thinking- I tend to think the worst during fights.

I deal with all the pain because he is a good provider and the times that are good are AMAZING. I know the first year is the hardest and I am seeing that firsthand.

Any and all suggestions are appreciated. Please be nice as it is 3 am and I’m scared to what he will be like in the morning. I’m not sure if he will feel any remorse for the things he said or continue to be angry in which case we will have to leave our trip early. My anxiety is through the roof and I’m walking on eggshells.

And if any therapists are out there, any cognitive behavioral techniques that I can try? I have tried time-outs but haven’t had much success. Also, I believe in the power of prayer so if there are any prayer warriors out there, please keep me in your thoughts. Since I live in a different country, there is a language barrier and finding a church and making friends has been a struggle the last year. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️

Thanks for listening.