I met up with one of my ex boyfriends last night. I have not seen this guy in about 9 years and our breakup was heartbreaking. We were both only 17, in love (really feel like this was my first love) I wasn’t a virgin anymore but he was and he ended up losing it to me. His mom got up one day, and decided they were moving to Florida and I never saw him again. But somehow we kept contact through out the years even if it was here and there. He joined the military and moved to japan. I stayed in California, got engaged and had a daughter.

Last year he moved back to California, still In the military. I separated from my ex fiancé and I’m single now. Soooooo.... we meet last night after a long time of talking about it.

Ladies... when I say I didn’t think we’d hook up I was wrong. But not only that, it SUCKED. I don’t know if it was me but he had been drinking a little bit but looked good for having a couple drinks. We get to his apartment and chat for a bit, we drink a beer. All of a sudden he kisses me, we ended up in his room. He takes my clothes off, eats me out and we’re both enjoying it.. but his dick doesn’t get HARD. Ever.

I asked what was wrong, he tried to reassure me it wasn’t me and he didn’t know what was going on. He wanted me to sick his dick, which I did and it was soft. Probably the worst thing I’ve done my whole life. Lol I’m sorry. I just couldn’t see myself sucking a soft dick but I did it last night in hopes his dick would get hard. But he still wouldn’t get hard!!! So I stopped because I refused to suck a soft dick, what the actual fuck! We finally just stopped, and laid in bed naked as he kept caressing my body and just staring at me. He kept saying he must be dreaming because he can’t believe I’m there with him. He then said it was so embarrassed that he couldn’t get hard but he thought it was probably the drinks as when we laid down, he said he started to feel dizzy. And he really looked fucked up at some point. But I can’t help but think maybe it was me? Idk.

I was trying not to kiss him on the mouth when he dropped me back off at home but he wanted to kiss me so maybe it really wasn’t me? He said we should go watch a movie some time. And today I haven’t heard from him at all, and I haven’t tried reaching out to him. A part of me wants to but when I think of the soft dick, it kind of grossed me out.

If I reach out, what do I say?