Favorite child?

Okay I just want to know if I’m normal or not... I’m not saying I love my other kids less. I just feel like I get along more with my oldest. We’re both the oldest sibling and we have the same personality and interests so we tend to spend more time together.

My husband straight up accused me of favoriting her over the others and I feel so bad.

I just feel more connected to her and he doesn’t and I’ve been making an effort to give equal attention to all of them but it’s just easier with my oldest so I feel like a bad mom 😩

I know what I have to do but it’s the fact that my husband said that I didn’t love the other ones equally and it breaks my heart because it’s not true! How can I change that? Please don’t bash me I already feel bad enough! Any advice welcomed.