Hey guys. I’m 18, and currently 12 weeks + 4 days pregnant to my ex. I was consistently using contraception and I also used plan B, we had sex on the one occasion, I hadn’t slept with anyone else.

I’m seeking advice from someone who has experienced a similar situation, has legal knowledge on the matter or is able to provide helpful advice given the circumstances.

I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks + 1 day. I had asked my ex to accompany me, as I had a feeling I was pregnant. He was high at the time, as per usual, hence one of the reasons I had decided to discontinue the relationship, as personally, I don’t agree with the use of drugs. Once he had sobered up, he went home and made no attempt to contact me for two weeks, (which I wasn’t upset about as I’m sure he was overwhelmed just as I was) until attempting to contact me. He called me, abusing me, and stating that he wanted me to get an abortion.

I expressed that while I understood why he was upset, that I would not be terminating my baby, and that I would not expect him to be involved or to financially or emotionally support myself and my child if he felt he wasn’t ready. He then became more agitated and began to yell at me for refusing to abort, despite the fact I said I had no intention of forcing him to be involved at all. I confided in my mum, (who greatly dislikes my ex as does the entire rest of my family) and she suggested I told him the baby wasn’t his, as she said the toxicity isn’t necessary for myself or my baby. I told him the next day that the baby wasn’t his, which I felt horrible about and received criticism from my friends due to.

I told him that I hadn’t slept with anyone else, and that I had lied as I was afraid. He thanked me for being honest, and I thought he may have changed. A few days later, He told me he had discussed my pregnancy with his older brother, and he happily told me (he was laughing while saying this), that his brother’s reaction was “just punch her in the stomach”. I have no idea why he felt the need to tell me this. I explained how inappropriate it is for his brother to say such a thing, and that I would be uncomfortable with his brother having any involvement with my pregnancy or child.

He has previous dangerous driving convictions, and has previously been caught for driving under the influence of alcohol (he crashed and his friend/passenger had to have surgery and a permanent catheter inserted). He has also previously been involved in physically assaulting other men (punching) due to disagreements, which I absolutely hate as I am entirely against violence and there is never a need.

He is always high as I said, and always drinking. He is also very aggressive and gets agitated easily. I want to get him out of my life but since I told him it is his, I feel so stuck. I can’t tell my mum as I never told her that I told him it was his after her advice.

If I told him that it wasn’t his, that I had only told him that it was his child as I wanted “support” or comfort, would it be believable? Yes, super low on my behalf but I don’t want to be involved for life and I don’t want my baby to think this is how normal men act. I also don’t believe he is responsible enough. I could suggest a DNA test to make it seem more realistic/certain, funded by himself, not me, which I doubt he would do. I want the best for my baby and I feel him not being involved is the best thing I could do. Advice please!!