Just about to go to bed but I need advice with a situation. I have to make a decision tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. I’ll sleep on it, but if I can wake up to some advice that would do helpful in making my decision.

I’ll try to summarise it as best as I can because there are A LOT of details.

My bf is currently living in a different city to me (1.5 hours drive away) because of his job. He comes home on weekends, but every 2nd week works Saturdays. I try to go up and see him once a week. Tomorrow I’m going to see him and it’s Valentine’s Day! We had plans to go out to dinner, we got each other some basic gifts and cards, nothing too fancy. After dinner we’d go back to his apartment and I think we all know what happens then..

He is currently sharing his apartment with 2 other guys he works with (company rents apartment). The rooms are 1 master bed, 1 double bed, and 2 singles. Obviously no one wants the singles. But it was agreed that they wound swap the room at the end of each week. (They’re only living there 1 month) However this wasn’t any written agreement and then “end of the week” is fuzzy because sometimes it’s Friday, sometimes it’s Saturday with their work schedule.

My bf decided the other 2 could fight over the master bed room as long as he could have the double bed for 2 weeks. So his two weeks in the double is almost up. But it was never clarified if he had to switch on Friday or Saturday.

His roommate approached him tonight and said “we’re switching rooms tomorrow night”. He’s not a very nice guy, like to play the dominant role and has done so since he moved in with my bf. (Basically he’s your textbook definition of a shitty roommate - has loud sex often, leaves a mess in the common areas, plays music really loudly on work nights, has parties and lets strangers sleep in my bfs room (without permission) when my bf is home for the weekend)

So he has told, (not asked!) my bf that they’re switching rooms tomorrow night. Meaning that my bf and I get the room with the single bed. Never mind that I’m coming up to visit him, never mind it’s Valentine’s Day, never mind the last day of work is Saturday not Friday this week. He thinks he can claim the room because he has his gf (whom he has been dating less than a month) coming over (and they will probably have loud sex) so he wants the good room.

The roommates gf lives about 20-30 mins away from their apartment (I 1.5hrs away) and he has gone to stay at hers before on work nights. But my bf, who doesn’t like conflict, won’t stand up for us and try to argue that we should get the room for one more night. I’m angry at the roommate and I’m disappointed at my bf for being so submissive. But because of my frustrations and anger, I’ve upset my bf. He doesn’t want to upset me. He says he feels helpless and doesn’t think a fight is worth it. But at the same time he’s upset because I’m upset.

So what do I do?

Forget about Valentine’s Day and not go up to see him this week?

Or go and see him (and settle with the small room) and try to bite my tongue around the roommate?

I really think my bf needs consoling now, but I’m so angry about the whole situation! What do I do??