Hey I’m just looking for support, advice, a place to vent, something in this time of hurt. Where do I start I guess to say my husband of 2 and a half years been together for 6 and a half years left me one day he was at work sent me a text saying he didn’t love me anymore and I don’t really remember the rest, I had no idea it was coming, I mean I did see he was struggling but I didn’t think it was our relationship, back in August 2019, me and him left church which was a big thing I’m our life and the moment we left is the moment the drinking started happening it started to just one night on the weekends then to everynight on the weekends to nights where he didn’t come home or answer my texts, he would stay gone a whole weekend drinking I would be at home with our other two kids with no way anywhere I would have to take cabs places, well during that time he started drinking during the weekday he would be at work

And never come home leaving our oldest son stranded at school I would have to take buses to go get my son from school because he wouldn’t answer his phone, I found out later that he also started smoking weed well 2 days after Christmas , him and a couple of his friends were drinking and they did coke well the coke had be laced with something bad my husband Watched 2 of his friends die and he was found unconscious they had to give him something to bring him back and that’s when the drinking got worse , I don’t know what to do I tried helping begging him to stay home negging him not to drink and drive begging him to do better, I made myself so open to him, and during all that time from August till now he was cheating on me with multiple women I didn’t even know I didn’t even expect it, I was so clueless because I thought drinking and smoking was the problem I thought that what was wrong, but I guess to factor it in he was cheating... well it’s been almost a month since he left, multiple times he’s given me mixed signals to the point I slept with him 3 times since the whole breakup , he’s gone from

Missing me to never thinking about me, I know I keep pushing my feelings on him but I can’t unsee what I did wrong , I can’t understand how a man could leave his pregnant wife who is on bed rest and 2 of his children, 😭 this doesn’t explain even close to everything it’s just so hard to put it in a way to make sense because I’m still trying to 😏 he won’t even see the kids for longer then a hour and that’s on his time because he’s always busy, he won’t watch the kids so I can have a break time to think , he tells me he lost himself and it made him push himself away from me, he tells me he drinks and smoke every night, it hurts because he says he’s happy and doesn’t even think twice about me, I know if i went in to detail about when we were younger about how he cheated so many times and left me after I had our first everyone would bash me but he completely changed for 2 years like I know people say he probably was just pretending but If he was he put on the best act alive... well idontknow what else to put, I got left by my husband, no job , no car , no education because he made me a stay at home mom, no money I’m literally alone and hurting now

Im 37 weeks and I’m getting induced and I’m broken I don’t know why I still love him when looking at all the wrong I should hate him but my heart craves him 😭😭 i just wish it made sense. But I guess he just doesn’t care.