Idk if I can go to my cousin’s baby shower...

I know I should go & I feel like a POS for even considering not going but idk if I can handle it. I had a miscarriage Sept 18 at 8 weeks. Two weeks later she tells me she’s pregnant. I have been trying for 2 years, they weren’t trying at all. I know that’s not her problem/her fault but I’m just so sad. I told her I needed time to process and to like be easy with me. She doesn’t really listen. The other day she complained about being pregnant, then today I told her I got my period and then a few hours later she sends me new baby clothes she just bought. We were/are so close. I wanna be there for her 100% but idk if I can...