Please help 💔

Why do I feel so alone?

I'm married to a great man and we have two beautiful kids together.

I don't like to show my emotions. Talking to my friends is out the question. Talking to my husband doesn't help because he doesn't understand.

Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer at 25, my life has been turned upside down. I had major surgery that left me physically incapable of doing the things I used to be able to do. I was always a very active person and free spirit. I worked as a hospice nurse and it was truly my passion. I felt like it was where I belonged. Three months from graduating nursing school, I was diagnosed and had to withdraw from the program. I also had to quit my job in hospice because I can't physically lift adults anymore. I've lost everything that was meaningful in my life besides my family. I don't recognize myself anymore.

I just don't understand how I went from caring for cancer patients to becoming one.

My depression and anxiety are at all time highs right now and I don't know what else to do so I'm turning here. I'm desperate. I have zero energy, motivation or drive to do anything. My house is a wreck, my clothes are dirty, I need a shower, I need to eat something... But I can't get out of bed. My kids need me. My husband needs me. I NEED ME.

How does everyone get through it and overcome it all? Where do you get help?

I'm at the doctor now waiting to talk to her about a med change. I can't afford therapy..

I just don't know what to do. I need help before I lose myself too much and end up losing my family too. 💔