How do I lose weight the right way?

Back in 2015, I reached my peak weight at 320 pounds. I was even having a lot of chest pain, though my doctor told me that I didn't currently have any heart problems, but the pain was from my heart working to hard due to my weight and if I didn't lose weight, then I would develop a problem, so I started trying to lose weight. I started eating right and trying the new fad diets like keto and paleo, along with exercising almost everyday by doing "prison style" workouts and yoga, only to lose 3-5 pounds a month.

So I started throwing up everything I ate and started starving myself, also, not having a job I exercised most of the day and would walk 2-3 miles every day at our local parks on the paths that connect for the marathon runners and bikers. I started dropping 10-15 pounds in a month. And after about a year and a half, I got down to 185 pounds (NOTE: I am also 6 foot tall) I was so proud of my weight loss, but I was suffering and unhealthy. I was constantly exhausted and sleepy, my nails were peeling, my hair was thinning and falling out, and my face....I looked like a vampire lol

Around that time, my husband and I started dating. He was afraid for what I was doing to myself because I wanted to get thinner. Over the 2 years we were dating he got me to stop starving and throwing up and helped me maintain my weight. As we both agreed I didn't need to get any thinner, 185 was a good weight for me, I just needed to get healthy again and get toned. But, we got married and some very negative things started happening and I stopped exercising and dieting completely due to depression. And over the last 2 years since we have been married, I gained back a lot of weight and I now sit at 250. I want to lose it again and get in shape, but I'm so afraid I will let myself get out of control with my weight loss like I did the first time because I don't know how to diet and lose weight THE RIGHT WAY. I was obsessed with my weight, and if I had gotten any thinner I would have started to get ill. Only now, over the last 2 or 3 months have my fingernails FINALLY stopped peeling, and it has been 3 years after I stopped starving a purging, going on 4.

I want to lose this weight. I want to get in better shape than I did before, because I was only getting thin, I was to weak and malnourished to get toned and strong. I just kept getting skinnier, and I'm glad I stopped before I stepped over the line to anorexia and low body weight. I never reached my goal because of this, I was to messed up to continue and get the results I wanted.

And I know, that starting at 250, if I work hard, I can lose more weight than I did the first time and actually get in shape if I do it right. I just need advice and the right know how.

The then and now picture is old Haha that was when i was getting my thinnest, it just shows a lot of the progression. Again, I'm back at 250.