Blow job 😬

So like I’m 15 and right now I’m having my first relationship with someone I’m a freshman he is a sophomore like Ik All girl say this “oh he is not like other boys “ but like honestly I this is true in my case like he literally is there for me 100% wants me to do the best in every way like he actually loves me for me and I kinda took advantage of that in the start of are relationship then I left him because I was confused how I felt (more like I want to Hoe around with guys ) but then I lost him and after a week I missed what I had with him and he gave me another chance but a week later some bitch blew it she got my phone when I was in the bathroom and texted him lots of rude stuff and he said “I had enough of your shit this is over don’t come back crawling to me “

I was pisssseedddd so like he ghosted me during the holee week till I came up to him at are bus stop and said we need to talk and mind you I have anxiety and depression I’m not just saying this I go to therapy and everything I take antidepressants too but I started the meds after him I was really really down and not going to lie they make me feel good sorry that I’m getting off topic I have a.d.d 😂 but yeah I tell him we need to talk so we sit together I explain what happened he said “ im done with your excuses “ and I said me too I just want us to at least be friends he said “jusssst friends “ he said it like that I needed to get it through my head I said okay but during the rest of the month he is talking to a new girl I was mad as hell like I wanted him all for me and can’t stand the fact of him with someone new you know but let me cut this short I send a picture to a group chat he is in I said “ you can really suck dick down here “ he said “who” and my bold little ass goes “YOURS “ IM. TELLING YOU THIS IS THE BEST BAD THING THAT I DID AND TURNED OUT TO BE GOOD but the he was gonna actually but cares after but he didn’t he said I’m not about it and stuff like that so I said wait till I get on that bus he said Ight so when I’m on the bus OMG IM TAKING FOREVER TWO WRITE THISSS don’t worry it gets good, I’m just here I put my hand over his jeans and he gets a bonner and I’m just stroking over the clothes and yeah he called me that day to tell me that if we gonna do stuff it has to be on the low my dumb ass agreed because I really wanted him back so fast forward a week by that time the girl dropped him for her ex and he is with me but not officially so it’s Wednesday and this happened 3 weeks ago so like we stay after school for this thing then we sneak out to a hiding spot IN SCHOOL the point was for me to suck his dick and I’m here like omg omg can’t believe I’m doing this he shuts me up and non stop kissing and I tell him get up let me just get this over with and he said you have. To work up to it but I’m not getting turned on with kissing so I can’t say that so I’m on my knees IN BROD DAYLIGHT and I close my eyes he pulls I out and said open I said I can’t I can’t and he would put it away and I would be like sorry and we try again then I would say the same thing and he is frustrated and I’m like what I do now 😬 soooo like yeah everything is really good now I just really want to please him but I just back out I don’t want to back out anymore someone help 🥺🥺