Too many emotions...

I got pregnant and then miscarried two months ago. I was able to see a VVFL on DPO9 that time, now we are trying again and I’m at DPO12 and still nothing. I think between my last experience of an early BFP and seeing some women on here get BFPs SO early I feel depressed that I’m most likely not pregnant, should I keep hoping on this cycle? Is it still possible I could pregnant and it take awhile to get a positive? My bbt chart showed a one day dip in temp on DPO9 which led me to think it could be an implantation dip and I thought I might have a BFP by now but no. My anxiety over this is so much stronger than it was before my first pregnancy, I hate feeling this way. I’m struggling to stay calm and positive and try to focus on other things in my life but I just feel sad today. Its been the longest 2ww ever!