I’ve had a complicated relationship with my father since i was around 8 years old when I started noticing his alcoholism and anger issues and they began effecting me and my brother as well as my mom of course. Since then I’ve carried a lot of anger towards him and the resentment lingered no matter how much I tried to forgive him. He was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer three years ago. Now he lays in a hospital bed during his last weeks of life and I no longer feel the separations and tensions between us. I see now more than I ever have how similar we are. I’ve always been told I’m so much like him but now I truly see. As sad as it makes me that I’m losing the person who is the most like me on this whole planet, I am at peace because I have let down the walls I built between us. because of the way he has been broken down by his illness, He now looks at me as if I am a ruler of his universe. The man who once taught me how to live is looking to me for answers and comfort and strength. In the child like state of someone on their death bed, I see him as human in a way I never did before. I am finally free from the resentment and anger ive felt about the way my childhood went because in the end he was growing up and trying his best and he loved my mom and my brother and I and he loved his life and I hope he loves what it feels like to leave this life too.