So I was at my friends’ house. They’re both Asian, but the guy was adopted and came to the US at 13 (he still struggles with English somewhat and he’s 19 now).

I was about to cook something and I said “do you know where the brown sugar is?” And he said “yeah it’s right here.” And he was in a really silly mood for some reason. And I asked “is it dark brown sugar?” Then he says jokingly, “Yes. It’s darker than you.” (I’m black)

And I was just like 😐. And I told him I didn’t like that joke.

Then later he was joking with another friend about scaring squirrels away from a bird feeder. The other friend said that it would be immoral to physically hurt a squirrel. Then he (the one who said the brown sugar thing) started talking about how society has done many immoral things, including the holocaust and slavery. And that was his justification for hurting squirrels. (He doesn’t actually attack the squirrels, but he thinks it’s a funny joke)

He’s never said things like this before. I know he was joking and being sarcastic in both instances. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a clear understanding of the US’s race relations (because he didn’t grow up here for the most part). And there’s still a slight language barrier, so most things he says come off kinda rough. But I was still offended by both the things he said... was it racist or just simple jokes?