Do you ask people if they want to hold your baby?

I'm currently going through this with my in law's. Everyone on my husband's side of the family (his dad, mom, sister, her husband, and his grandma) are making us feel like shit because we don't offer to let them hold our one month old daughter whenever they come over. My thing is I don't want to offer to pass my child around from hand to hand, especially if she's sleeping. If they ask to hold her, awesome, we'll say yes as long as their hands are clean and they don't smell like cigarettes. But I'm not going to ask you if you want to hold my baby who's currently sleeping on my chest, especially if she was throwing a fit just before and she only finally calmed down when she fell asleep on my chest.

And they're also making me feel like a shit mother because I let her sleep on my chest a few times throughout the day. "She won't get used to sleeping on her own if she only sleeps in Ashley's arms." (She sleeps in her own cradle at night, and not all of her naps are on me so ??? It's not like she only sleeps in my arms...) She's a month old so sleep training is not in the picture right now, so sue me for letting my child sleep in my arms when she's fussy or after a feeding/burping.

I'm just feeling like absolute shit now...