Hello all,

I am 29 weeks and the father left me when I was 23 weeks. I have known him for 20 years, first love, we tried/planned this, etc., and he suddenly exploded on me like night and day, sending me a string of nasty messages and insinuating the baby isn’t his. I know this is an excuse and he’s the only person I have been with and had unprotected sex with in 8 years and he knows this and knows I adored him. Meanwhile a friend has a hookup app and came across his profile within days of this happening and sent me screenshots with an obviously very recent photo. It also stated he didn’t have kids and other lies 😞 I am still beyond hurt and astounded and although I realize how incredibly immature and selfish this is that he ran away and try to understand that, I do not want to talk to/see him or have him in the delivery room (nor has he asked/reached out in any significant way). The pain is too great, even though I truly loved him. What’s truly creepy is how out of the blue it was too, literally sending/telling me sweet things just hours and days/weeks before. Anyway...I had been set on using Dew as a middle name whether it was a boy or girl and we talked about it for over a year. Reason being those are his initials and I love nature names so it seemed fitting. I definitely don’t plan on giving her his last name. Should I still use it? Or will I end up regretting it? It sounds nice with her full name and I’m upset that I now want to change it so I keep going back and forth. As it is, I can see from the 4-d live ultrasound she looks like his twin so maybe that’s all the honor he should get...

Edit:

Thanks for the responses so far. No, I do not intend to get back with him because I can’t forget his words/actions/pain and how sick I was and apologizing to my bump. As much as the good memories make me cry, I don’t think we would be able to move past this. He knows it was my dream and especially to have him there, as he was the love of my life and I never wanted any other. I have decided to remain non-intimate with anyone for a year minimum, possibly several years until I’m ready, and use this time to heal and focus on my daughter. The manner in which it all happened is actually pretty terrifying and traumatizing and I can’t help but feel he has already hurt her as well and can’t allow that in the future. So whatever it is that he’s going through that made him do/say these things I hope he works it out and works on himself but I just want to focus on me and baby girl. Also the fact that he left us to have sex with random women (guessing that’s what “wants to date but nothing serious” means) days after telling me he wanted to marry me right that minute etc... I never want him to touch me again