can i vent?

start of by saying this is my 4th pregnancy

I have a healthy 5 year old girl okay, SO im 9 weeks pregnant and had two miscarriages everything scares me, any wrong feeling is sending me into a frantic. I want to walk with my head high blessed knowing my god got me but it’s so hard ... my 5 year old is very excited she said she wanted to name the baby rainbow ( felt like a sign 🌈 ) so that’s what we’re calling him/her. im just very scared for both of us to experience it again.. im rambling and incorrect grammar but i just want to be heard and talked to.