Night feeds / Night time care (comforting, changing) - do you have help / take turns?

Question

1. Please comment with arrangements you have with your partner (or other care giver) regarding night time care (feeding, comforting, changing etc.)
2  What works for you?
3. How do you feel about your current situation? 
4. Would you like it to change? How?

Answer

I do it but that was our deal. When the baby was smaller, my husband took care till 2am then I did the rest of the day. But he sleeps through the night now and if he happens to wake up or have a nightmare or something I take care of him. I know how to get him back down better than daddy these days anyway.

Answer

I do it all. My husband would if I asked him, but when she wakes up at night 99% of the time she just wants to nurse. She tends to get worked up and angry if it’s not me to give her the boob so it’s not worth having my husband get up.

Answer

My husband and I both get up and check our son's diaper together. If it's a one man job (no poop, and no leakage) he finishes changing him while I get ready to nurse. When our sweet little man is situated, my husband sits with us until the feeding is through. Then we go back to bed together.

Answer

I'm a single mom, so it's just me 100% of the time.

Answer

Since I’m currently stay at home, I have the night duties during the week and he does it on the weekends. Sometimes our boy takes forever to go back to bed due to gas pains though so we have a rule if either of us is up with him for an hour and a half and he’s still not falling asleep we get the other person. Of course there’s always exceptions to the plan if someone is just having a bad day but it works for the most part for us

Answer

When he would get up at night it was all me but that was the agreement. I’m the stay at home mom and I rather my husband sleep more. He would take care of him sometime during the day if I needed a nap but luckily our boys are great sleepers. He also does all of the cooking (amazing cook) and helps with cleaning if I tell him to.

Answer

1. I EBF so it’s been automatically all on me from the start but before my husband went back to work (he had 12 weeks of leave) he helped me as much as he was able. Now with him at work it’s all me, even on weekends. However, if she wakes up with gas pains and can’t settle, he’s ok with me asking for his help. He’ll also start the bedtime routine with me and help entertain her while I change her and I will get ready for bed while he watches her. 
2. It works for us right now since I didn’t go back to work. However, it’s still his baby too and I told him the bedtime routine will change as she gets older and when BF slows down. 
3. I have a little bit of resentment. Just because some nights she’ll be up a couple times and he isn’t even in bed yet. I try to sleep when I put her down because I know I’ll be up with her but he’s still up til 11 or 11:30 (even on weekday) and yet I’m still getting up with her. He’s able to have his nights from 8pm to whenever he goes to sleep but I never get that. 
4. I know nights will change as baby gets older and I plan to have him more involved as it does. It’s more so that I have to ask but I shouldn’t have to.  It’s how he is with everything. It’s not something that would “help me out” or “give me a break”, it’s that it’s your baby and you can step in too.

Answer

Nursing didn’t go well at the beginning, so he was getting bottles. I went to bed early and daddy stayed up to a last feed. I took back over around 3 am for the next feeding. It’s basically all on me now since we are away for work, but honestly, even when we are home, it’s basically me because I just nurse him back to sleep. There wasn’t much discussion, it just seemed practical 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Our deal was if my hubs is working the next day he doesn't have to get up. He's a firefighter and is gone for 24 hours at a time so I'm used to doing it all myself anyway. It was definitely harder when she woke up multiple times during the night but now that she only gets up once it's no big deal. It also made more sense to me to nurse her than to warm up milk for her in the middle of the night and I just figured if I was already up doing that I might as well let him sleep and I change her diaper too. He will get up with her on the days he's not working when she wakes up in the morning and let me get an extra hour or so of sleep so i think it evens out.

Night feeds / Night time care (comforting, changing) - do you have help / take turns?

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