4 year old won’t potty train 😩

Mama’s, I’m desperate and need help. I feel like I’m at my wits end.

My daughter turned 4 years old last week. We’ve been potty training since before she turned 2, when she began showing interest. She’s been peeing in the potty for about a year and a half now. However, she hardly ever poops in the toilet. I’ve tried everything- rewards when she does (stickers, candy, money for her piggy bank, etc.), taking toys away, no tv if she poops herself, time out, talking gently with her, talking stern with her. I feel like I’ve tried it all. My husband has talked with her, my parents, her head start teachers, her babysitter, even her doctor. I’m pregnant with baby #2, and have even used this, telling her that she’ll be the big sister so she has to use the potty all the time, so she can help teach the baby when that time comes.

The doctor said that she sounds like it was an enlarged colon due to a long history of constipation problems. So, we’ve tried everything the doctor said. I’ve taken her back to the doctor twice, and she said that at this point, she thinks it’s a behavioral thing, and just to really be strict with her.

My daughter starts pre-k in August, and if she’s not potty trained by then, then I’m afraid to send her. I am sure that the kids will pick on her, as it has already started some.

She just doesn’t care. She will walk around in dirty underwear and not tell a soul. We try to stay on top of it, and are seriously considering pulling her out of play school so that her babysitter can have all day one-on-one to work on it with her while we’re at work, because the school simply can’t give her the attention that she needs to get this down.

Please, please, if someone has any advice, I’d love to hear it. I just feel like I’m failing her at this point, and I feel like I’ve tried it all.