😭 First OBGYN Appt

I'm so scared of this appointment because my sister and aunt have PCOS. My sister's cysts got so large that they almost encased her ovary, and the doc said if it did encase, that they would have to possibly have to cut it out. I'm so similar to my sister, and every woman in my family has multiple miscarriages before/between succeccful pregnancies. I'm not pregnant, but my biggest fear is to carry a child and to lose it or to not be able to conceive at all. 💔

I've had ovarian cysts since I was 15 (5 years). I've never been to a doctor for it because cysts are common in my family. I didn't think anything of it until recently.

When I first got them, I was in so much pain that I couldn't leave the bed sometimes. That went away for a couple years and has come back in these past few weeks. Last week, I even felt a lump where my right ovary is 😬

I had severe nausea, nonstop, from the time I was 15-17. I tried talking to my mom about it, and she would just ask if I was pregnant (no, obviously not for 2 years straight). This went away for a few years and has also come back in these past few weeks.

In the past year, I have had little to no libido. When I do feel like having sex, I can't get to the big O. I never had a problem with this before, and I don't feel like I should be at 20 years old! 🙃

In the past year, I've been absolutely exhausted. It's so difficult to stay up doing homework or hanging out with friends.

Since that lump appeared and my nausea and pain has come back, I made an appointment with an OBYGYN and I'm just so scared to hear what they have to say. I just don't think it's fair that any woman should have to go through this or that I'm having to think about this at 20, when I'm not even planning on kids for another 5 years 💔😭