Anyone else going threw this?

OK, so yesterday I started spotting and immediately got upset. I'm thinking how am I supposed to be ovulating if I'm bleeding. So I cried was very down to the point to where I googled it. Its normal. But! Why is it so much? Now every month I go threw this. I thought I got two periods and couldn't ovulate. Today my husband and I TTC and it's like that time of the month. I'm very confused and sad. Any advice, relatable situations or kind words for me. This is hard. Years of trying.