Okay so I just need to get this off of my chest.

I hate it so much that people are missing their firsts and lasts because of this virus. Their weddings, graduations, proms, even family members missing out on their new additions being born because of stricter hospital visitation policies.

I know it’s important to slow the spread so that medical professionals can keep up. I know in the long run it’s worth it. I know that this is all necessary.

But I’m just so sad and angry.

My 21st birthday was now yesterday. I stayed home with my parents and sister. My boyfriend came over for a little bit. No other family could come. My grandma had NEVER missed my birthday for anything and it broke my heart that she had to miss it this year.

I couldn’t go out to celebrate with friends or anyone for that matter. I’ve never celebrated my birthday before as in parties or really going out with friends. I had plans to do that this year and I was so excited. But I had to cancel everything and stay home. We just did the same thing we always do which is order pizza and go through my presents and cards.

I am upset and I know it’s silly to be, but I just wanted to have fun and enjoy myself for one day. I wanted to splurge, but I mostly stayed in my room the entire day like any other day. Honestly, it didn’t even feel like I was having a birthday. Which sucks you know? I don’t get that back.

And it makes it so much worse because I know this is so stupid and selfish of me because people are suffering and dying from this horrible virus, but I just feel so upset and angry.

And I can’t tell anyone because it’s not like it’s their faults. And I know people are missing out on so much more because of this, I mean it was just my birthday and I’ll have more, but I just feel like this might’ve been my only chance to really go out and have fun.

I know it’s selfish. But I feel cheated.

It doesn’t even feel like my birthday happened.

I just needed to get this off of my chest since I can’t tell anyone else. I just wish my birthday could’ve been some other time before or after this whole mess. Oh well. Happy birthday to me, I guess.