I feel like I’m about to get postpartum depression

Hello ladies this is my first post since delivery as I was traumatized to a point that I don’t want to talk about anything, first of all my birth story which after 24 hours of labour after induction and it was unmedicated I ended up having an emergency c section

And after the delivery by 56 hours they found that my baby is having difficulty breathing and took him to the NICU where he stayed for 2 weeks

Today he is 22 days old, and I’m truly happy and feeling blessed that he is ok now but deep inside I really feel like a failure and I cry every time because until now we are having difficulties with breastfeeding.

The issue he got used to the bottle from the nicu and when I consulted a breastfeeding counselor she said he is having nipple confusion, and gave me some solution like feeding him with a spoon so he forgets the bottle! But the method failed tremendously, and to be honest pumping is so time consuming plus with all this stress I think also my milk supply is really low, I don’t have enough help and time I can only pump twice to three times a day maximum and they are recommending every 3 hours!!

I know there is nothing wrong with giving him formula but I wished to have one thing only under my control when everything wasn’t.

I really feel sad and I guess I just want to vent

But if anyone has encouraging words or tips please do share as I really need them plus how to prevent PPD because I really feel that I’m close to get it!