Do you think it’s always wise to put the kids interest first? Example: staying in a toxic relationship just so the kids can have a two parent household

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Accepted Answer

Staying in a toxic relationship is not the child's best interest. If you do that then please set a fund to pay for your child's therapist when they become an adult.

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Personally I don’t think staying in a toxic relationship benefits a child, so by leaving you would be putting their needs first. A kid with two happy separated parents is better than a kid with parents that are together who’s relationship is toxic.

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I'm not sure now subjecting your kids to a toxic relationship, and therefore household, is putting them first 🤔 All that's doing them is showing them that an unhealthy relationship is normal, as well as a slew of other problems. It's actually worse for the child to be around that than have 2 seperated parents who are happy individually and set good examples

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Staying in a toxic situation isn’t in the child’s best interest. I’m always unsure why anyone thinks that. Abuse, fighting, yelling, screaming, treating each other like shit, etc. is not good for children to witness or be a part of. 
My parents had an extremely toxic, abusive relationship. I never understood why my mother stayed or why my father stayed when he didn’t want any of us. In turn, my home was filled with abuse, neglect, alcoholism, addiction, serious mental health issues, financial strain, etc. In the end, it played a hand in my mother’s death. If she’d taken another path, her life would’ve been very different.

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If it’s a toxic relationship, the best interest of the child is to remove them from it! 
Having a two parent household is NOT better when the parents don’t love each other, when the parents are unhappy, when the relationship is toxic or abusive. The ONLY time having a two parent household is better for the child is when it’s a healthy and loving environment.
If you truly have your child’s best interest at heart, you wouldn’t be in a toxic relationship for them. Children grow up and use their parents’ relationship as a model for their own. You are teaching your children what is and is not acceptable in a relationship based on how you and your significant other behave towards each other. If that relationship is toxic or abusive, that’s what you’re teaching them is normal.

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Staying in a toxic relationship so that the kid has both parents is just as toxic as the relationship itself. My mom stayed with my verbally and emotionally abusive father until I was 17, and I still to this day wish she would've taken us and left when the abuse started when I was much, much younger.

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You are not putting your child first by doing that. 
Idk who told you that you staying would be putting your child first, but that's traumatic. Watching it. Hearing it. Its not at all in the childs best interest.

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I didn't vote because your question itself is conflicting. Like anyone else here I feel like staying in an unhealthy relationship either way is not choosing the best interests for the kids.
. 
Either you FIX the relationship - which might be the best solution for the kids because it shows them people need to work on relationships and the "throw away society" we've become might have a better prospect for the future with at least your kids seeing a good example.
But with fixing it also comes calling it quits after fixing doesn't work or one of two parties isn't cooperating.
.. 
Or you don't try fixing anything - or maybe you feel like you have but it didn't work - and give up and leave or seperate and be happy both on each own. - unless your partner didn't see anything wrong and he's now willing to work on things - 
... 
If there is abuse and you don't trust your partner with your kids, call for help BEFORE you seperate and make sure his visitation is supervised. I don't think you can fix abuse... It takes too long and too much damage will have been caused, it would be very hard to go back to a loving trusting environment.

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Having children around toxic people for the sake of a “normal” family isn’t putting the child’s best interest first, putting a child’s best interest first would be leaving that environment with the child so they can grow up knowing healthy relationships and how to treat people properly. So yes I think it’s always important to put your child’s interest ahead of your own

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People don’t actually stay in relationships for the kids-the kids are NEVER better off in a toxic household. They stay together because they’re too scared to hole in and they use their children as an excuse. Children pick up in your energy, even when you try to hide it.

Do you think it’s always wise to put the kids interest first? Example: staying in a toxic relationship just so the kids can have a two parent household

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