Is it okay?

Hi moms....

This is my first time posting, please be nice!

I really think I am done. I just hit my breaking point Wednesday, and I feel there is no going back. My husband and I are doing marriage therapy 2x a week and it just isn't working...

IF we don't speak of the past or any inflicted pain, things are good! BUT if anything comes up, even in therapy, everything crumbles.

I am tired of being so unhappy. I am tired of losing sleep and just feeling meh. I do not feel loved or wanted.

Sure he says he loves me but actions don't prove it.....I feel stuck. I don't have anywhere else to go with the kids (mine from a previous marriage) and it makes me feel even more trapped. With losing my job from Corona, I am 100% dependent on him. We always combine our money in a joint account. ....I told him everything and he just thinks I'm overreacting and looking for an out....farthest thing from the truth!

I am hurt and frustrated and just exhausted. Is it selfish of me to want out, remove the kids that love him so dearly (ages 13/11/6) ?? They have no clue we have issues as we never fight etc infront of them. They think we have a super happy, healthy relationship.

I just want to smile again! Laugh again! Simply live! And he takes all that away from me. I deserve better, I am worth more and want more than this petty BS! I want to be the amazing person and mother I once was. I feel he stole that from me!

Am I a terrible mom for even considering uprooting our lives on behalf of me?