Don't know how to feel, but feeling some type of way

RANT

So long story, my husband and I have been together over 10 years. When we got together his ex was pregnant and ended up having a little girl. Well we ended up having 3 boys. I'm not really close with my step daughter although I try to be, but it just hasn't worked out that way. She's quick to tell me that I'm not her mom, I'm just her stepmom. I've spoiled her like she's my own and I've been there for almost everything she's had going on in her life. I've always hoped we would have some type of mother/daughter relationship but we haven't. Now she's moving away with her mom and stepdad. My husband and I are done having kids so trying to have a daughter is out of the question. I never had this mother/daughter relationship when I was growing up and now I feel like I never will.