Need to vent. Please no judgment

I’ve been married for almost 3 years. We have our ups and downs and I’ve always Been a big girl. But I’ve been doing my small works out here and there and started eating healthy and I showing some progress but that’s not even of for my husband. My husband doesn’t like really skinny girls but he don’t like big women either. I am losing weight for myself and for him so we can have a healthy living style. But for him because I am not showing enough progress to him he tells me off sometimes. It kills me. Sometimes I feel like I love him more then he loves me. I don’t believe in divorce but sometimes I just want to leave. He is a asshole sometimes but the other side of him he is sweet and he does care but there are days that don’t seem like it! Hurts so much! Idk what else to do