Help me please

So about 2 weeks ago my package was delivered to the wrong address. My carrier tried to retrieve it back from that same address when I notified them that I haven’t received anything. The man told them that he has the package and he will not be giving it back to me. So long story short, I will like to send something to his address to make him regret his life choices. I feel like glitter is to cliche. So give me your all!!!

Edited to add, the cops were obviously called. They told me there is nothing the could do and that I would have to contact the mail carrier to file a report. Which I also have done. :)