Masturbation just isn’t that good🤷🏻‍♀️:(

Hi! So I’ve been masturbating since I was pretty young, maybe around 12 years old? I’ve pretty much just used my hands and I’ve never tried penetration or anything. My problem is that, honestly, it’s just okay. I don’t even feel good when masturbating up until the actual orgasm or the few seconds before it. Before that, I just really feel nothing. Am I doing something wrong or is that normal? I usually will kind of just rub like above the lips or whatever, sometimes doing it through my underwear because it feels less rough. I’ve tried sort of “venturing inside” but it just feels weird. I think I’ve only ever really found my clit like once and it did feel good, I instantly orgasmed just pressing on it once I think. I feel like my clit is so like buried away if that makes sense? It’s like, I can find it I guess, but it usually just feels uncomfortable and painful to touch in that area (except for that one time). I know that it’s normal to have to indirectly stimulate it, but still, I thought that was worth mentioning. I guess my question is, does it get much better than this? This was all hyped up to be some wonderful feeling thing but it’s just okay. I’ve never even felt the urge at all to moan or show any kind of pleasure, and sometimes my body ends up just feeling really crappy after. I’ve tried using a showerhead once and it did feel good, but again, it wasn’t THAT good, I guess. & I didn’t like it too much because it made me feel sort of out of control, if that makes sense. I don’t know. I just find it kind of weird that I feel no pleasure except for a few seconds, and then like for a two second long not even that good climax. Am I doing something wrong or is this all it is? Thanks :))