Dear mom and dad

I a couple months if not sooner you are going to realize that I have disappointed you yet again. You both are finally going to look at what I have for college, and realize that I had no clue what I was doing. You let your senior do all of her college stuff by herself.

We are homeschooled so we don’t have a counselor, but you can’t be a counselor because you don’t know what you’re doing. You guys are going to get mad at me for not knowing what to do. You guys are going to be disappointed knowing that I don’t have any scholarships or any other help other than the state help.

You were going to get mad at me because I didn’t know but you weren’t there to help me. I am sorry that I didn’t ask you for help. I was too busy trying to keep my job and do my schoolwork which you know I have troubles with. I am a 4 1/2-year high school student.

With everything that’s been going on in the world, and me still taking care of your children. I have no clue what I’m doing. I still have two things I need to turn in to the college before I can get my acceptance letter. I don’t know what I’m doing. You were so easy to jump into action and help everyone else, maybe that’s because you know how to help them. But I know sure as hell you don’t know how to help me.

I want to leave the house so bad because I’m done with people assuming that my brothers are my sons. I am done with people telling me how much of a wonderful mom might be because of how often I take care of my brothers. I want you to spend time with your kids and stop getting mad at me when I still parent them when you’re home.

I parent my brothers so much that it’s kind of hard to stop when the actual parents come in to the picture. Mom, you had a stretch off you didn’t work for three or four days in a row you go back tomorrow night. And yet you were still staying up late and sleeping through the day. Yesterday you knew that I had a class and I couldn’t take care of them, and instead during my class you decided to have sex with dad. And then not come down until 8 o’clock asking me what I was doing for dinner.

Dad, you guys knew that I had a class and you decided to have sex while I was in my class, I know you worked the night before so you needed sleep. You stand up for me, but you’re never home to help me so that mom doesn’t get mad at me.

I’d really appreciate it if you guys would stop telling me that I need to marry a rich man who will do everything for me. Or telling me that I would make a great mom and that’s it. Or telling me that I’m stupid and then I’m a failure when you’re mad and then taking it back when you’re not mad at me. Because I don’t believe you.

You don’t even notice when the mental health of your children goes away, because you don’t care. You guys have been through so much worse that if I told you what is happened to me you would tell me I was overreacting or you get mad that I didn’t tell you sooner. And I beg you please please please do better with my brothers. Please be there for them and help them.

There is so much more that I want to say to you both, but I don’t know how