Emotionally Conflicted

This is my first time posting but I figured this might be the only place where others understand where I’m coming from. My boyfriend and I have been trying to get pregnant since October 2019. My younger sister (she’s 26 and I’m 32) “accidentally” got pregnant in November but decided to terminate because she wasn’t ready. She ended up having a miscarriage before going through with the abortion. Since then her and her boyfriend have decided to actively try to have a baby. Well Friday I got the text that she was took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. She’s so excited! I want to be excited for her but I’m so upset. I just needed to vent and get this out there. Please don’t bash me for not being over the moon with excitement...I’m just jealous 😕