Snapping vs unconscious response when you’re mad and don’t express it

Me and my boyfriend keep getting into uncomfortable silly arguments, when I do it he feels I’m snapping at him and feel I’m unkind (usually would be eye rolling or ugh! Or maybe even some childish sign of frustration sometimes with words when I lose my patience but immediately apologize.

He stays feeling odd and like questioning if he even want to be with someone who “snaps at him”.

But when he does it and most of the times say some rude mean comment just to hurt me in self defense (bc he didn’t express when he got mad) and he regret it right after and he says “sorry I wasn’t thinking “ and I forgive and let go because I can understand what unconscious response are and I know that it’s just because his ego got hurt and we move on.

Today after 3 days of back and forth with I wonder if it isn’t the same thing what I do and what he does. But when I snap and say I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking he just stays feeling ewk like who’s this woman?. I would appreciate different perspectives