I messed up...

I am so mad at myself. So we did the NIPT testing and got the results back almost 2 weeks ago but we’re doing a gender reveal tomorrow so we only had my brother find out the results, well he wrote them down on a piece of paper and put them in an envelope because he actually ended up having to be out of town this weekend so we are going to give someone else the envelope tomorrow so they can set the stuff up for the reveal. We’re doing a burn out and bought colored powder to make the smoke of the burn out either pink or blue. We bought both colors and ordered them before we even got the gender results back just so we didn’t have to wait even longer and wait till my brother got the results then order the right color and have to wait. Anyways, I was checking to make sure all the powder was in the box and we had it for tomorrow, well I found an envelope in the box and there wasn’t anything on it besides a stamp so I thought maybe the company wrote something (I’ve ordered stuff where companies give little messages with the package) so I opened the envelope not thinking anything of it and it ended up being the freaking envelope with the gender on it. I have no one to blame but myself but why wouldn’t my brother tell me that’s where he put it or wrote something on the outside like “gender results”!? I mean it’s still going to be a surprise for my husband, our son and everyone else but I worked so hard these last 2 weeks to wanting to keep it a surprise for myself too and I was so excited. We didn’t do a reveal with our son and my husband and I both agree this will most likely be our last baby so it’s not like we’ll get to do this again. I cried and cried for almost 30 minutes, not because of what the gender is, but because I ruined the surprise for myself and I was so excited for this and so excited to have an amazing, exciting, genuine, surprised reaction and now I took that away from myself. I know stuff happens and I obviously didn’t mean to do it and didn’t even think for a second that that envelope was the one with the results. I know tomorrow will still be exciting and it’s going to be amazing but I just can’t get over that now I won’t be genuinely surprised. I just needed to vent because I’m really upset over this. Maybe it sounds stupid and isn’t as big of a deal as I’m making it but it was a really big deal to me and I was so proud of myself for being able to restrain myself from not finding out and from having it be this big reveal. We’ve had plans for the last few years to have this reveal whenever we were able to finally get pregnant and now the time has come and I ruined it. I’m glad no one else knows but I wish literally anyone but me would’ve been the one to accidentally open it. Sorry for the long post. I just can’t talk to anyone else about it, besides my husband and mom who were there when I accidentally opened it (but again they didn’t see the results). I just needed to vent and say how stupid I feel and how upset I am.