Losing virginity

I really want to have sex but I don’t want to lose my “title”. I have had oral sex several times and the want and desire for penetration is there but I cannot come to let myself do it. I feel like I’m holding back on having fun and loving sexual experiences. My partner at the moment isn’t my boyfriend but we’re just “talking” we are very very close and have been talking for several months. I really need advice because I want to have sex but It’s something I’m nervous to let go of.