What do I do?

Question

So I am married and have two boys. My best friend is married and has two boys the same age. Our kids love each other and husbands get along.
Here’s the thing, I can’t stand her husband. He is such an ass to kids (mine included), has such a temper with zero patience for them. I don’t mean getting slightly frustrated but screaming the f word because they inconvenience him or are whining. We do not parent this way. 
He recently made fun of my sons stutter while the 4 of us were hanging out and I was caught off guard and pissed. 
He constantly brags how much money he makes and better than everyone else. 
He has no consideration to other people’s feelings. 
The way he talks about immigrants, politics and religion makes me sick. 
I am so torn because she has been my person for the last 3 years and my husband finally has a friend in the same stage of life but he recently told me he wouldn’t go out of his way to hang out with him because he’s so rude. 
Sorry this is all over the place. Do I talk to my bff about it? Just hangout with the kids separately? Should I stand up to him and give him the chance to apologize?

Accepted Answer

Call him out on his shit. And hang out with her seperately and talk to her about it to

Answer

I'd confront him next time it happened (a lot of people like this seem to think it's ok with the people around them and they can get away with it because people don't call them on it) and if he doesn't change his behavior, I'd tell her I can't spend time with her when he's around because I can't have my kids learning that behavior and those thoughts.

Answer

My bff of about 10 yeas has a hubby like this. I mostly hang out with just her and the kids and if needed I have called him out. She is so nice sometimes he needs someone to say hey you are being an asshole.

Answer

I wouldnt talk to neither of them lol a woman who puts up with a man talking shit to her kids as well as yours is a woman i dont want to associate with

Answer

She’s your best friend, don’t make her choose between her husband and you. Ignore his comments and let the kids be friends. Just be civil adults around him and if he says anything about your kids I’d just ask him to please not make comments about your boys. You don’t want to risk losing her or the boys losing their friends because her husband makes rude comments/ you don’t agree with his views or how he expresses them, not worth it in my opinion.

Answer

I’d hang out with her separately, but if a situation ever came up where he was there & said something ignorant or stupid, or (if it was me) he ever yelled at my kid, all bets would be off & id call him out. 🤷🏼‍♀️ if your friend got upset, tell her that you love her & value her friendship but that it’s just not acceptable behaviour from him & you don’t want to be around it anymore.

Answer

If he cursed at my kid like that I would call him out on the spot.

Answer

Tell him he either acts nicer to your kids or you dont go around them. Plain and simple he can treat his kids however he wants but when it comes to yours he has to listen to YOU.

Answer

I would’ve called him out on the spot. No one is bullying my kids, I’ll be up in their face in an instant.

Answer

Call him out on it. If he says something in front of your kids that you don’t want them hearing it’s your job to speak up and say watch your mouth in front of the kids. If he won’t control himself don’t hang around him. Just hang out with your friend without him if he doesn’t care what you say.

What do I do?

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