Struggling to lose weight

*I kind of just need to rant because I have no one to talk to who would understand how I’m feeling, so sorry in advance for the long, whiny post*

I cannot seem to lose weight no matter what I do.

I am 5’5”, 243# and 23 years old with 0 kids.

At my heaviest, I was 250# in June 2017, which I attributed to Depo-Provera (BC shot).

Since then, the lowest I got down to was 225# in October 2018. I was on Nexplanon at the time.

I’ve switched to a low dose BC pill (combo 0.1-20 MG-MCG) and I’ve stagnated around 243#.

I don’t eat as much. I’ve been doing HIIT workouts at home since I lost my job in early March (thank you COVID-19) and I try to go for walks/jogs when I can.

I’ve tried ignoring the scale and started using objective measurements instead, but I see no progress. For example, I’ll lose 3 inches in my waist over 4 days but will immediately gain it back, despite not changing anything.

I feel absolutely hopeless and repulsed.

I’ve been considering the gastric sleeve or bypass, but I was hoping to lose the weight all on my own without either of those.

I’m just tired of being so fat. I have always been a bigger girl and I swear I am absolutely over it. My body image is ruining my confidence and my sex life. My boyfriend of 5 years has never mentioned my weight being a problem, but I’m so upset that I have allowed myself to look this way. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling complete disgust towards myself.