I visited a psychiatrist today, for the second time in my life. We had a good talk, he told me a lot of things I already knew but it’s different this time. This time, I’m serious and I really want to change. This time, I’m tired of always being tired. This time, I’m ready to love me and stop putting everyone above me.

I’m tired of never loving myself and loving others too much. I put my worth in the hands of others and let them tell me how much I’m worth. I worry about people leaving me or cheating because I don’t know how to tell myself they’re lucky to be in my life; that they’re here because I let them be, not because they let me exist in their space.

My homework is to write a journal about WHO I AM. I’m trying to figure that out still... but who knows what I’ll discover when digging deep. I know I’ve been missing the girl I used to be for a long time and it’s time I found her again.

I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia, major depressive disorder, and high acting anxiety disorder. I can’t tell you when it started but I can tell you that it’s ending, starting today. I’m ready.