Y’all. I’m extremely distraught and questioning my marriage. This might get long but please stay with me. I could really use advice/opinions. I know talking to my husband would be the best option but I’m too distraught to even open the can of worms without getting through all my thoughts.

We’ve had fights, ups and downs. This is a big thing to me right now. My aunt who lives in Alabama(I’m from there but I live in Texas currently), who is more like a mom to me than my own mom ever was, was diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a golf ball putting pressure into her temporal lobe. I’m going to go back to Sunday when this whole roller coaster started because that’s where our problems start.

We got in a stupid fight after church that just left me feeling like I’m never enough. I chose to isolate in our guest room for a few hours to calm down before trying to talk through our fight. While in the room by myself, my mom tells me that my aunt is in the hospital and it’s either a mass or infection on the brain. I hear my husband turn the shower on so I come out to tell him. He knows how much my aunt means to me, does not stop what he’s doing and says that’s not good. He asks a few questions but continues to get in the shower. Doesn’t turn to comfort me or stop and make sure I’m okay in any way. So I spent the rest of the night in the guest room. Came out around 9 pm to go pee and get ready to go to bed. I see that he is watching a tv show we always watch together, without me. I don’t say anything other than goodnight and go to bed. I’m at this point making plans to go to Alabama for the weekend because I have a four day weekend. He is aware of this. He can’t get off on holidays at his job unless it’s an immediate family emergency usually. Normally I would let that mean I won’t go but due to everything going on I decide I’m going to go no matter what. We try to talk Monday evening but he decides that we need to discuss what happened after church because that’s more important than my aunt right now? I end up telling him how hurt I am that he hasn’t even tried to comfort me since I told him the news and he said I’m sorry but didn’t hug me, hold my hand, kiss me. Literally just I’m sorry. Then he spent the rest of the evening not talking with the tv off. I finally decided to go to bed, tired of sitting there in the same room as him crying. I tell him goodnight and he then turns the tv on and asks to sit with him in his chair and cuddle a few minutes. I do because I really needed the closeness with someone. The next day is okay. Until we go to bed. *this is where an old problem that we have comes to head during this* here in the last 6 months, he only tries to cuddle in bed with me when he wants to have sex. He knows that I’m down for sex at anytime except work nights literally when we are laying down to go to sleep. Well. He starts cuddling with me and instead of it being a nice comforting thing, I am hurt that he’s going to try and have sex after what we and I have been going through. Sure enough, a few minutes in he asks if it is too late to have sex. I said I’m sorry but it is and I’m really tired. So before I could book plane tickets, I had to make sure his job wouldn’t make him quarantine for two weeks because I flew, I would drive instead. They finally got back and said that it would be okay for flying this morning so my mom and I booked my flight for tomorrow afternoon and then I return Monday evening. He somehow did not realize that even though I wanted to get the most out of my time there that I would be leaving Thursday. I’ll be honest. My communication has SUCKED the last few days. I feel like with what’s going on that should be understandable. But it wasn’t. I was told that he could not get off work in time to get me to the airport by 4 even though he’s normally home by 3 at the latest. He could easily tell his work that he would get his job done and need to get me to the airport and they would understand. I offered to find a ride there if he wanted to pick my up, so I didn’t have to leave my new car at the airport. He told me it would be better if I drove myself and just left the car at the airport.

I guess I’m so upset because if this was his mother, I’d never treat him this way. Not in a million years. And I never expected him to treat me like this, especially not during such a hard, difficult time. I’ve felt like exploding from anger, frustration, and sadness. My partner should help take that away, not cause to me be even closer to exploding. I have no idea how to fix this. I’m ready to cancel my flight home and stay there for who knows how long but I also don’t want to just let go of my marriage either. Does anyone have any advice or even just your opinion or how you would feel? Am I in the wrong here?