When me and my husband got together and married, he was motivated. We were in the Army (dual mil) and he had all these plans on wanting to be an IT specialist. I wanted to get my Masters in Social Work. We both got out and I wound up getting a good job that pays (at the time) 60k a year. He got out with the agreement that id support him while he got his IT degree. Meanwhile I was working full time and was in the National Guard as well.

He wound up dropping out and I started school while I was working/in the Guard. I finished my Associate and Bachelor's degrees and after begging him, he found a slightly above min wage job. He kept saying he would go back to school but never did. He also said he'd look for something better paying so when I started my Masters I could focus on that.

3 years later.. that never happend. I spoke with him and he says he doesn't plan on leaving his job and the only way to move up is to apply for the next tier (which requires many years in the position or a degree). I found him an opportunity to get his IT certs for FREE and all he had to do was finish the application. He never did.

I feel stuck. I'm now working on my MSW and he had nothing to show for the 3 years he was a Stay at home dad or the ample opportunities I've given him to go to school, get his certs, or apply for better jobs.

I am the main breadwinner and still do everything for the household. I make apps, work with our son on his speech delay, clean, cook, do all the admin stuff like taxes and paperwork. He spends the majority of his time playing games or watching YouTube videos. The house is a wreck and the only time it gets cleaned is My days off between spending time with our 4 year old and school.

I'm lonely and don't feel supported, appreciated, or even loved by him. Hes not the same person he was before. I didn't sign up to take care of him like this. I wany a partner and an equal. I need affection.

I dont know how to communicate with him bc he always shuts down or gets mad and gives me a silent treatment. I've asked for couples therapy but he won't. What do I do now??