i know it probably seems like I'm being dramatic but I'm dead serious. i dress really trendy/fashionably, do my hair and makeup well, work out 5-6x a week, have a lot going for me academically/professionally, but when it comes down to it I just do not have a face that's pretty to look at. like, I'm not horribly ugly but I'd say I'm average/below average- sometimes I think I look okay and other times I'll see a picture or video of me off guard when I thought I looked kinda good that day and it actually makes me want to cry because I look awful.

anyway, I'm 21 and I was in a long term relationship from 15-19. we were a fine match at the time I guess and he's honestly pretty good looking, but I've had shit luck since that breakup. I've dated some cute guys (met all through dating apps- bumble, tinder, etc) but I always end up being told that they're not ready to commit or whatever. I get really sad sometimes because my best friends are BEAUTIFUL (not just saying that) and move in and out of relationships constantly with super quality guys- I think they're single for a few months at a time (maximum) while I haven't had a relationship for almost 2 years now. I'm going to be a college senior and I feel like my time is running out- I go to a predominantly female school anyway and once I graduate I'll be moving far away for graduate school which I'll attend for roughly 6 years and won't have the same social scene to meet guys.

I keep seeing such beautiful wedding videos of gorgeous brides getting married and I cry every time because I'm so happy for them, but also because I feel like that will never be me and that I'm simply just not attractive enough to find my forever guy, or at least not any time soon. I love relationships and I can't wait to be married some day but I worry no guy will ever find me pretty enough for that.

I try to do everything I can do compensate for my face, but at the end of the day when I take my makeup off I'm like shit, if I were a guy I wouldn't want to date me either.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or being super negative because I'm blessed in so many other ways but if I could give up one of them to change anything it'd be my face.

I was just hoping to hear from some ladies who have maybe felt the same at some point and came out happy on the other side. TIA💕