😰Was I being sexually abused?

Hey y’all, so around last year I met my ex I liked him enough to do sexual things but I didn’t want a relationship at first, he came on way to strong in the beginning and it made me uncomfortable. I wish I listened to my gut feeling sigh. Any-who the relationship was terrible, I stayed because could change him (dumb idea) but I think I only did that because at the time I was a virgin and he was my first and I didn’t know much about sex other than what I saw online or with porn.

When we would have sex sometimes he would put me in uncomfortable positions that were painful and I would try to take it but then I’ll tell him to stop and he wouldn’t stop and just say it’s okay baby or something along those lines...it became a habit that he would force me to have sex when I didn’t want to, shove his penis inside my dry vagina (very painful) and one time we were intimate and he did a position where it hurts I told him to stop but he pinned me down and kept going really hard, it hurt so bad and I was on the verge of tears

He later on said "sorry I got carried away but seeing you in pain just idk..it turns me on" back when I was dating him I didn’t think anything of it but for some reason all these bad memories out of nowhere flooded into my brain and it’s making me wonder was I being sexually abused? I’m in my mid twenties I was raised by a good family and I should have known better but I was so blinded, I tried telling my mom but she said that "I knew better and not to let a man take advantage of me"

Now I’m finding myself being depressed after 5 years of no depression, I broke it off with him in late February (started dating in September of the previous year) how do I deal with this? I want to move forward but I don’t know how to go about healing I’m very sad and scared. He’s in prison (not because of me but drug possession charges) I have blocked all contact from him however I think he has my address I don’t think he’s the type of person to show up but I’m worried about that also. I also find myself getting triggered daily, I just don’t feel like myself and I don’t know what to do or who to turn too. Any tips if anyone else has been sexually abused in a relationship?