Solidarity in more than one way
I didn't participate in yesterday's black out for more than a few reasons, and a few of them I'll mention in my post today. I've seen and read so many points of views, so much finger pointing, so much blaming. I'm super uncomfortable with how much I'm seeing people react in this really strange way. And it angers me a bit as well. Let me share this thought:
I think it's strange that people are outlwardy calling all POC unprivledged. I severely disagree and I don't think a white person is privledged just because of their skin color. This is more offensive to me than anything else has been. I have friends on social media calling themselves privledged, just because they are white, even my CEO and higher ups at my job are saying that as a white man or woman, they can't understand what the black community faces on a daily basis. Even though I know their sentiment and their intentions are well, I've never been so angered in my life. It makes me uncomfortable working and being friends with people who do that, stating every POC they know or meet or see is unprivileged. That's just another way of separating us, and making me see me as less-than. I'm not going around saying I'm black, and have no idea what it means to live a privledged life, that wouldn't be truthful. I've seen both sides of the coin, and I've experienced being privledged and unprivledged, and I can honestly say I've experienced both as I'm sure many others have too, but not because of the color of their skin. So I refused to participate in blackout Tuesday because, in my opinion, this isn't the most beneficial way. If anyone actually sat down to see the problem, they'd know that this is an ingrained belief that has become a system. A way out of it is an individual approach. Every person, not just white people, has to question their beliefs and what they were taught as children. Somethings, even as simple as the following example is worth being challenged. Once, my dad told me to never tip because they make their money in the job they do. We were at a nail salon and whenever we went out to eat, he never tipped and I didn't question it until later. I believed that for a long time until I, individually, had to challenge it myself. I challenge people to challenge their beliefs and what they were taught as children and what they continue to be taught or shown, and what they end up teaching others. That's where we start. Not like this. This is causing more separation. I'm not unprivledged because I'm a POC and a woman. I'm privledged because I challenged my own self-limiting beliefs and those beliefs of who taught me, and those who were around me. That's how I'm helping with this time, teaching people how to do the work on themselves, individually, by constantly doing it myself, so they aren't sheep following the ideas of one person or one mindset. They become more capable of making their own minds up and being in alignment with that. This, I believe, will make a bigger difference than posting a black square on social media for one day. I see the power in it, but if you have people posting becusss they fear being called a racist, you're adding to the problem. They don't really know what they are saying or doing. Let them work on themselves. Solidarity can be shown in more than one way, I strongly believe that. It's a priviledge and sometimes not a priviledge to be able to see a way out of the system, and that same poisonous thinking happening over and over again that got us here in the first place. I went to a yoga studio here in LA once that was specifically formulated for POC, thinking oh great, a group that believes in unity.However, when I got there, a seemingly white woman came in and the owners stared at her, the other women their stared at her, they even discussed how to tell her to leave because she's white. I didn't even want to be there after that anymore. When we all were told to introduce ourselves, the seemingly white woman pronounced her name in what appeared to me as an overly enunciated Spanish accent to show she wasn't white. That made me stop going to any and all events held by them because of how they made me feel when I witnessed reversed acts of racism. I spoke with a dear friend of mine about theexperience, and she agreed with how I felt, and also stated that they are making a place where POC can go without feeling fear of the white man. I get that, but to enable that fear is enabling that system of thinking, and to really help out, you'd learn how to integrate the 2 races, facing each fear one on one, until we laugh at what we fear in heads, seeing how silly those beliefs we held on to truly are. This is how we address that and make each other comfortable, we face it head on. Early this week, another dear friend of mine made a comment on a recent post that said that my viewpoint is due to how I was raised. I was actually raised to be aware of white people, to stay clear, they can't dance, shoot ball, or are all racist. If I stuck to that belief and that fear, maybe I wouldn't have as many friends as I do now. It isn't how I was raised, it's how I learned to follow my heart and do what's right. The only reason I even exist is because my dad was light-skinned enough to satisfy what my grandmother required of my mom at that time. She told my mom to not ever marry a dark-skinned man or your babies will come out nappy-headed and dark. My grandmother is a black woman who married a dark-skinned man. What did she believe about her own children? See how racism exists on more than one spectrum?
Tonight, I'll be joining in on the Real Talk event posted and this is why. I need to share how to address racism from an individual perspective. It doesn't look one way, but it all starts with the individual self. What beliefs were you taught as a child that you're challenging today?


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